Is Charlie Sheen An Unbalanced Alchemist?

Budding Alchemists take notice, if you want to see what happens when your elements are not balanced, you just may become Charlie Sheen.

Before we begin, do you think Charlie could be an Alchemist? Sure I ask this in jest, but think about it, first he drinks tiger blood, maybe an allusion to the reddening phase, and what about him saying he rides a “mercury” surfboard, you can't get more alchemical!

I also like the way he says he has a 10,000 year old mind, cool, transmigration, a follower of Pythagoras!

Alright, it's not fair to pick on poor Charlie; his elements are out of wack.

Allow me to explain the elements, and then share the cure.

Just to enlighten those that haven't a clue what I'm talking about, here's a mini primer on the four basic elements, I'll keep the fifth I'll keep to myself.

For the sake of this discussion we have Fire, Earth, Air, and Water, the four elements. Each of these elements does have these wonderful little imaginary creatures, or what some alchemists would call correspondences: Fire is symbolized by the Salamander, Earth is symbolized by the Gnome, Air is symbolized by the Sylph, and Water is symbolized by the Undine.

A salamander is a being that lives in fire. It also refers to a being that can stand a lot of heat. The word is used for an inhabitant of the element fire who performs world-building tasks related to the element fire.

A gnome is a "mythical" being that lives in the ground in caves. They are reputed to guard buried treasure. Not surprisingly, the word is sometimes applied to international bankers. The word is used to refer to beings of the earth that perform tasks related to the element earth.

Sylphs are creatures of the air, sometimes called nymphs of the air. The word is used to refer to inhabitants of the element air who perform world-building tasks related to the element air.

Undines are creatures of the water, and are said to live beneath the waves. They are sometimes called water nymphs. The word is used to refer to the inhabitants of the element water who perform tasks related to that element

If we make it really simple, the fire signs all have some element of "forcefulness" in them, the Earth signs are "practical and down-to-earth", the Air signs are "thoughtful or intellectual", and the water signs are "emotional.

In the case of Charlie, sadly he visibly shows his element dysfunction, as do most of us but we don't even know it.

Dear Charlie, Here's the recipe to correct your visible imbalance:

“Reduce your stone to the four elements, rectify and combine them into one, and you will have the whole magistery. This One, to which the elements must be reduced, is that little circle in the center of the squared figure. It is the mediator, making peace between the enemies or elements”....The ``Tractatus aureus,'' in the Theatrum Chemicum